She finished reading the letter.
Tears trickled down. Swift as rain.
It was only twilight yet.
A dark, weeping night still lay ahead.
This must be the beginning of an end.
Slow. Slicing.
Linking up with Trifextra : Week Twenty-Six
The 12 inch heel, the confident gait, The measured steps, the sudden halt, The blush on cheeks, the smoldering eyes, The hands on hips, head held high, The silken gown, barely there, A tilt of neck, balanced well, The sultry glance, timed right, Perfect half twirl, played twice, With a graceful swirl, she turns back. The world looks on with stolen breath, Oohs, aahs, applauds, encores. The showstopper’s yesterday, Now hangs in a gallery, Fading parchment, guarded unnecessarily. No shadows of glamour come a-chasing, For vacant eyes and sagging skin, For shattering illusions, hanging questions, Am I never going back? Linking with The Mag : Mag 147 Linking with Write on Edge : The Red Writing Hood - The Gallery Linking with My blog can beat up your blog : 100 Word Song : Never going back to Ok Linking with The Velvet Verbosity : 100 Words - Breath
There's something very lyrical about this opening.
ReplyDelete"A dark, weeping night still lay ahead.
I love sentences with two meanings.
I am glad the two meanings were reflected well. Thank you so much.
DeleteCuriosity about what's in the letter draws me in, but the story leading up to this moment is the real hook for me.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I have some ideas, I will see if they take some shape. Till then curiosity will have to do.
DeleteOh...my...the pain she's in. Palpable. I want to know more.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kimberly. This is so encouraging.
DeleteI am curious about what's in the letter but I'm more hooked on what happened before that.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I have some ideas, I will see if they take some shape. Till then curiosity will have to do.
DeleteI also like the long weeping night. There are so many questions I have that I would read the book just to find out :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Janna. I am encouraged by your willingness to read more on this.
DeleteLIke the others, her reaction to the letter is painful. Now, I'm curious what's in the letter and what led to this point.
ReplyDeleteThe lines do begin on a painful note. Thank you for sharing the curiosity.
DeleteLovely. Slow. Slicing. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kelly. It is heartening to hear that you loved it.
DeleteSure grabbed me, I would read on to see what happens. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThank you Tessa. I am glad the lines worked.
DeleteI'm particularly interested by the word "slicing" -- it's a little unusual, intriguing in this context. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThank you Annabelle. I thought this word would be enough to reflect the pain.
DeleteYikes. What's in the letter? Did she see it coming?
ReplyDeleteWe will have to wait for the details, Marie. Thank you for the visit.
DeleteThe last two words are so precise and revealing!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sandra. It is good to hear such kind words on the write up.
DeleteOoooo. Slicing is a great word. I love how it sounds, and I love how it looks. Great choice to help lure us in! I'd love to know more of this story. Thanks for linking up this weekend. Hope you'll be back soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much editors. This is very encouraging.
DeleteLovely - very lyrical. Want more, for sure.
ReplyDeleteI'm making the rounds on Trifecta's link and love your site!
I'm a new follower and fan here.
xo
Christine
@thatgalkiki
Thank you Christine for kind words, for following and for appreciating. It is exhilarating to have you with me in this journey.
DeleteSad and wistful.
ReplyDeleteI agree Carver. Thanks for the visit.
Delete