Hark! The rhythm

Hark! The rhythm. The pellet drum rattles. The dance begins. The creation, the annihilation, the fleeing in-betweens, and beyond these appar...

Friday, July 27, 2012

The Incipit


She finished reading the letter.
Tears trickled down. Swift as rain.
It was only twilight yet.
A dark, weeping night still lay ahead.
This must be the beginning of an end.
Slow. Slicing.


28 comments:

  1. There's something very lyrical about this opening.

    "A dark, weeping night still lay ahead.

    I love sentences with two meanings.

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    1. I am glad the two meanings were reflected well. Thank you so much.

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  2. Curiosity about what's in the letter draws me in, but the story leading up to this moment is the real hook for me.

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    1. Thank you so much. I have some ideas, I will see if they take some shape. Till then curiosity will have to do.

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  3. Oh...my...the pain she's in. Palpable. I want to know more.

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  4. I am curious about what's in the letter but I'm more hooked on what happened before that.

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    1. Thank you so much. I have some ideas, I will see if they take some shape. Till then curiosity will have to do.

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  5. I also like the long weeping night. There are so many questions I have that I would read the book just to find out :)

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    1. Thank you Janna. I am encouraged by your willingness to read more on this.

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  6. LIke the others, her reaction to the letter is painful. Now, I'm curious what's in the letter and what led to this point.

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    1. The lines do begin on a painful note. Thank you for sharing the curiosity.

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  7. Lovely. Slow. Slicing. Loved it.

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    1. Thank you Kelly. It is heartening to hear that you loved it.

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  8. Sure grabbed me, I would read on to see what happens. Great job!

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  9. I'm particularly interested by the word "slicing" -- it's a little unusual, intriguing in this context. Nicely done.

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    1. Thank you Annabelle. I thought this word would be enough to reflect the pain.

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  10. Yikes. What's in the letter? Did she see it coming?

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    1. We will have to wait for the details, Marie. Thank you for the visit.

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  11. The last two words are so precise and revealing!

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    1. Thank you Sandra. It is good to hear such kind words on the write up.

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  12. Ooooo. Slicing is a great word. I love how it sounds, and I love how it looks. Great choice to help lure us in! I'd love to know more of this story. Thanks for linking up this weekend. Hope you'll be back soon.

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    1. Thank you so much editors. This is very encouraging.

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  13. Lovely - very lyrical. Want more, for sure.

    I'm making the rounds on Trifecta's link and love your site!

    I'm a new follower and fan here.

    xo

    Christine
    @thatgalkiki

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    1. Thank you Christine for kind words, for following and for appreciating. It is exhilarating to have you with me in this journey.

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Since every thought is a seed, I am looking forward to a delicious harvest.