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The Sacred Sacrifice - Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4 9 Poh - The Journey to Sirhind After the heart-wrenching separation at the banks of the Sarsa River, Mata Gujri Ji and her two you...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Companion Thought

Living evermore
Until
Its
Icy hands
Begin to probe,
Find flaws
And break us.
Reverent,
Bowed,
Awed,
By this hide and seek
Of
Comrades.
Death
Strikes
Companion
Thought
On life.
And
Vice versa.

Linking with Trifecta : Week 104

16 comments:

  1. Great post - Icy hands begin to probe. And yet, the promise at the end...

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Kelly. It is so good to hear from you

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  2. I like this part:

    Bowed,

    Awed,

    By this hide and seek

    Of

    Comrades.

    I really related to it. I love how you formatted this and it's beautiful

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Lance. Your encouragement means a lot to me.

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  3. I like the structure and flow. Awesome.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Draug. I am really encouraged by your words

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  4. I like the way you structured it. It made me read it in a more controlled, clipped manner and brought another dimension to the beauty of the words.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Editors. It is always encouraging to hear such positive feedback on little pieces

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  5. Love the icy, probing hands.
    Also the surprise contrast of Reverent, Bowed, Awed against 'hide and seek'.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Kymm. It is always wonderful to hear from you

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  6. I too liked the structure. It made the poem flow nicely, lyrically.

    ReplyDelete

Since every thought is a seed, I am looking forward to a delicious harvest.