Saturday, July 14, 2012

The forbidden waters


The waters of Rewalsar Lake were not roaring, foaming and fuming like Beas. They were silent, deep in reverie in contrast. And yet these were called the forbidden waters.
The forbidden waters. Unchartered, unknown and unfathomed. Dangerous.
Stretched out lazily, in eternal wait – of their next prey.
Nobody had made it out alive out of the lake. Not yet.
The legend had it that science had come to stake its claim and left empty handed. Not totally though, if we count the remnants of the scientists’ gear.
The Rewalsar Lake had not bowed. And it had no intentions of giving in that day too.
So what if Eddie and Stella were visiting. The rules did not change for anyone.
The evening had matured by the time they both had reached the lake. They saw many people offering prayers, lighting lamps made of dough and floating them. The lake was strewn with rose petals. It looked mesmerizing in the twilight. Stella captured it all in her Canon Power shot. This was a glimpse in to the real India. The traditional India.
Now for the look at the floating mounds of grass reeds right in the middle of the lake. Eddie hoped to see them moving and push up his luck a tiny bit.
They roamed around the lake hand in hand. They saw fishes jumping in and out. They were amazed by the size of the fishes. They looked monstrous and Stella somehow felt frightened more than relaxed. Like they were hatching some conspiracy. The thought made her uncomfortable. She shivered involuntarily.
Eddie had a sudden urge to swim up to the floating mounds. He stepped down the little steps. The water stirred a little and settled again. He stepped further. Further and further. He felt he was getting pulled in. He had reached the safe fence and knew he should turn back but he could not tear himself away from the force. The mound was beckoning him and the water was sucking him. Like obeying the orders of the mound master.
He heard Stella crying out to him, crying out for help. But her cries went unanswered. From both ends. Eddie looked back again and saw a panic stricken face of Stella. He had a sudden realization that he might never see her again. Ever. His little curiosity would be end of him. His life flashed before his eyes. The harder he tried, the more he got sucked in. And it was over before he could feel the pain.
The locals say that shocked and stunned by her loss, Stella kept standing at that point for three days. Waiting for Eddie to return. All that came back was his watch.

Linking up with Write on Edge

14 comments:

  1. Spooky! This made me shiver. Could easily be the start of a much longer tale.

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    1. I felt shivers when I was writing it too. Thank you Cathy.

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  2. Wow! Your imagery was vivid and real. Loved the last part about the watch. Great job!

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    1. Thank you Denise. I am glad that you like the story.

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  3. Creepy and cool! I loved the story of Eddie and Stella. My suggestion would be to find a way to incorporate the information you give at the very beginning into their story somehow. I loved this idea.

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    1. That is quite a valuable suggestion. I will try and re-attempt the story in the said style too. Thank you so much.

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  4. This is a creepy tale! (I like it) I kept saying "no" as he ventured further into the water, but he ignored me *sigh*.

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    1. Creepy is just the word. It is so good to see that you related to the character (kept saying no). I wish he had never gone there. But alas, somethings do not turn out the way they should.

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  5. I liked the smooth flow and fluency of the story. I doubt that it can be "over before he felt the pain", though having water in your lungs can be a pretty painful business. :-(

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    1. Thanks for the factual correction Habiba. But what I meant was the literal pain, the kind one feels when he sees everything slipping away.

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  6. Very poignant and sad story.

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    1. It does end on a sad note. Thanks for the visit Carver.

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  7. Umm that was good ... invoking ... OR is it evoking? I know you read my post - and I thank you for the comment ... and see I am second guessing everything I type now - I'm going crazy in this little brain :)

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    1. Both the words, I guess can be used. You have me second searching here too :)
      Good to hear from you and I enjoy reading your posts thoroughly

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Since every thought is a seed, I am looking forward to a delicious harvest.