Thursday, March 15, 2012

The trail that left her cold

She had seen the trail from the distance.

She understood that the town was burning. There was a little hope for anybody to make out of it alive.

But mother's heart can beat even on an iota of hope.

And so she had covered the arduous miles on foot. And so she had reached the burning town.

And what a sight greeted her there. Everything was burnt to cinders ... reduced to ashes. She found it difficult to breathe in the stifling heat.

Her heart was heavy with fear and she longed to see her son. She saw a posse of officers ... going about their duties. She edged closer and waited for an opportune moment ... if only it could be called opportune. They heard her approaching and bowed their heads and took off their caps.

She had known it all along ... ever since she had seen the trail ... but had been afraid to admit it to herself. The fear was gone now ... an empty hole remained in its place ... a void that will never be filled.

She turns to walk away when they say "He saved every one he could."

"I am sure he did."

And she walks away ... cold, proud and pained.

Submitted for Trifecta Week Eighteen challenge ... the word trail in no less than 33 and no more than 333 words.

10 comments:

  1. a sad story but beautifully written. thanks for dropping by my blog and left a sweet comment. Hope you have a lovely day!

    susan

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    1. Thank you Susan, for reciprocating the visit and appreciating the write up. You too have a wonderful day ahead.

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  2. I love "a mother's heart can beat on even an iota of hope." So true. This is heartbreaking. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thank you for your visit Sandra and sharing your thoughts with us. I agree that the tone of the story is sad.

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  3. This reminded me of one of my favorite authors, Louis L'Amour. Nice work.

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    1. I am sure I have a long journey ahead to match up to Louis L'Amour's skills but your appreciation is quite an inspiration to improve upon my writing skills. And needless to say, I will need yours and everybody's help in the journey. I hope to hear from you in future as well and look forward to a healthy feedback ... that helps me grow and improve.
      Regards,
      Ruby

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  4. Wow, beautiful. Very nice work, this week.

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    1. Thank you Amanda for appreciating.

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  5. Thanks for linking up with Trifecta this week. This is really pretty writing. You've done a great job setting the scene here. Just remember: for Trifecta we need the third definition of the given word. In this case, it was the verb "to trail" not the noun. Hope to see you back again soon.

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    1. Thank you for the feedback. I will try to work in the improvement next time.

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Since every thought is a seed, I am looking forward to a delicious harvest.