Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Faith


Science had failed to heal him, brazenly called him insane. Perhaps it was right, perhaps not. Desperate, his people sought Elvira, the red haired. With a victorious laugh, her hand went over his forehead, stilling him as ice. Her luscious red lips, shone in the dark, praying and chanting. Echoes hung in the silence. Magic filled the night. Her pitch rose – from whispers to shrieks. Incantations gained momentum and then suddenly died down. Everything became still. Deathly still. Beyond the walls of her sanctorum, a rooster crowed in the dawn. Elvira smiled. Blind faith had won again. Science had failed.


32 comments:

  1. Great detail to the piece in 100 words! I love the tension you created. Well done.

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  2. This would make a great expanded story. I studied cognitive psychology and neuroscience in college and there were many fascinating studies of the power of the mind and belief over the body.

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    1. Thank you so much. I have heard of the cognitive powers but I am not sure if I totally believe in them.

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  3. This is so vivid and descriptive. I can almost see all of this happening. Love that Elvira has red hair and lips.

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    1. Thank you Lumdog. I saw the picture prompt in Picture it and write it and thought I would give it a different turn than vampires. And I had known as soon as I had seen the prompt for Trifecta that I would write something on the supernatural lines. I put the two together and Elvira was born.

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  4. velvet stole my comment

    I liked this a lot. expand it please.

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    1. Thank you Lance. I will try my best. And this is truly encouraging.

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  5. I had a whole long paragraph but I've decided to boil it down to this unsolicited advice, which you can take to heart or ignore as you like: if I'm thinking about the font while I'm reading your story, you've used the wrong font.

    I liked the story itself. I agree that it feels like it would profit from being expanded. 1000 words maybe?

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    1. Any advice that helps improve this blog and its content is a welcome David. I am truly looking forward to hearing more constructive feedback.
      Thank you so much.

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    2. That's so much better, I can't even tell you. :-) The whole font thing is an issue I've been running up against a lot since I started participating in blog hops/challenges/prompts, and I decided to write a post explaining my thinking about it, which is here: http://fictionprompts.blogspot.com/2012/09/writing-journal-1-fontsplosion.html

      Look forward to reading more of your stuff in the future!

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    3. Thank you once again David. I never though a simple thing like font could mean so much.

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  6. oooh elvira smiled, blind faith had won again...love those words!

    x susan

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  7. Ruby this is just wonderful. I especially loved "Echoes hung in the silence." And I felt like I was there! :D

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    1. Thank you Linda. I re-wrote this line some three times before I finalized this version. I am glad it goes down well with you.

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  8. That's what I'm talking about. Blind faith reaches the places that science can never touch. Beautiful message & words.

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  9. I like how much more life blind faith has here than science! Fun read.

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  10. sometimes, blind faith is all people have to carry-on. science cannot provide all the answers, at least not with our limited knowledge and abilities. but faith can answer any question.
    overall, though, your piece read very powerfully, and the idea of red lips shining in the dark, bam!

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    1. I agree Renada. Sometimes science does not have all the answers. It is faith that answers and faith that sustains.
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It was so nice and encouraging to hear from you.

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  11. This is a nice and compelling piece. You painted colorful and strong images with this one. :-)

    ~Imelda

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  12. Great tension. Thanks for linking up with us again. Please come on back tomorrow for the new challenge.

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    1. Thank you editors. I hope to be able to participate too.

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  13. I really enjoyed this piece! Elvira seems so devious!

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  14. The scene for me is somewhere between awesome and terrifying. Your descriptions are so vivid, it felt real to me.

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    1. Thank you Janna. These kind words sound so inspiring.

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Since every thought is a seed, I am looking forward to a delicious harvest.