Hark! The rhythm

Hark! The rhythm. The pellet drum rattles. The dance begins. The creation, the annihilation, the fleeing in-betweens, and beyond these appar...

Friday, March 23, 2012

A lovely life ...


“There’s nothing cute about it,” he said. The register of his voice indicated decision more so than discussion.

She disagreed heartily and privately, staring past his head and out the window behind him.

Ever since Maria's loss her son had not been his normal self. He was alive but not whole.

"Life is too lovely to be wasted away", she said at length in mere whispers.

In response to Trifextra - Week Nine

19 comments:

  1. There aren't too many sad ones for this prompt. Very moving and poetic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This one gave me a little shiver. It has an airy feeling that I really enjoyed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like the idea of two people who share a loss responding to it drastically differently. I was unclear about who was speaking to Maria's son if Maria was dead? Or who had been lost if Maria was the speaker?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I have not been ale to weave it properly but the conversation was between a son who was suffering a loss and his mother.

      Delete
  4. lovely writing, and in just 33 words.

    best,
    MOV

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good writing always has a little truth in it, as does yours.

    ReplyDelete
  6. How lovely!
    Well done.
    I really would like to write but seem to be avoiding it some!
    Greetings from Cottage Country! Too much fun taking photos and blogging!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad you liked this piece and thanks for this visit too. I am looking forward to reading your posts.

      Delete
  7. Oh, not heartbreak. But you captured it well. Good writing!

    ReplyDelete
  8. So sweet and sad. But I like to think Maria's gentleness and coaxing will have her son "back" in due time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think Maria is his dead wife (?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I had written it to be that way but it I am not sure if it came out clearly because there are many interpretations to this one.

      Delete
  10. I actually did get that it was a conversation between the son and the mom. It took me two reads to be certain, but it is there. (Don't know if you reworked it since above comments ...)

    Beautiful, also heartbreaking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You Karen. And No, I have not re-worked the original write-up. So, it pleases me when you get the meaning behind these 33 words of mine.

      Delete

Since every thought is a seed, I am looking forward to a delicious harvest.