As the early winter rain came down swiftly,
He wrapped the free end of his turban
Around his face, his wet bare chest:
Glistened red with cold.
His strong hands, coarse and dark
With dirt and grime.
They brushed past mine
Carefully manicured
and Vaseline-d.
And his body reeked of the sweat he had shed
Earlier in the day.
And the odor of his labor, well, no amount of rain
Could wash it away.
His turban a dirty white, greased and soiled
But worn with pride.
His gaze uninspired, lifeless and vacant,
Tired by the toil and travail.
As he hopped off the slowing bus,
His cracked heels hit the wet dirt.
I saw the cold rain snaking down his spine,
And I shivered despite my woolens.
Linking up with : Ermiliablog: Picture it and Write
Linking up with : Write on Edge : Red Writing Hood Prompt - Rain (once it goes live)
Linking up with : Write on Edge : Weekend Linkup
Linking up with : Write on Edge : Weekend Linkup
You are a talented writer.
ReplyDeleteThank you Carver. These words mean a lot to me.
DeleteA vivid picture you paint.
ReplyDeleteThank you banker chick. Half of the credit would go to Ermiliablog for that.
DeleteGreat imagery. Thanks for contributing to Picture it & Write.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
DeleteStrong. I can see it. I feel like I'm there.
ReplyDeleteThank you Cathy. It is so encouraging to hear such words.
DeleteNice! I'm not one for poetry, but I enjoyed this piece, and that last line I absolutely love! So perfect!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Shelton. Your words are so heartening to read. I am glad you liked this little piece.
DeleteNice juxtaposition and great final line.
ReplyDeleteThank you Azara. I appreciate your visit and kind words.
DeleteNicely done! I could see him, smell his scent, feel the rain... Yep, nicely done!
ReplyDeleteThank you Yvonne. It is one of the greatest relief to see the character coming to life.
DeleteVivid imagery! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful for the appreciation, Tessa.
DeleteI'll echo the imagery comments.
ReplyDeleteThank you Anne. It is really good to have you visiting here.
DeleteYou play so much with temperature in this, and so subtly. Love that.
ReplyDeleteThank you Cameron. Your appreciation and encouragement is such a reward.
Delete